Your Best Life is Not Now

I had the day perfectly planned.  We were going to have a day in the Mongolian countryside with Renee's folks.  It was so exciting to have them here with us and we wanted to show them the beauty that this country has to offer - particularly outside of the city (beauty is tough to come by inside the city).  So we were going to go to Terelj National Park for a cookout and a picnic.  We knew of a nice shaded spot on the river where we could set up the grill.  Cori was taking her best friend, Jeanie.  We had the car packed with grilling and picnicing gear.  I had laid down the cash for some American made "Kingston" Charcoal - which is pretty tough to find around here.  We even took our dog Sadie along for the outing - and she was thrilled.

We were at about the half-way point when Renee' asked the question.

Renee:  "Did you get the meat?"

Silence.

Bernie: "I got the cooler. It was zipped. I assumed you had put the meat in the cooler"

Renee: "No, you went to the store to get zip-lock bags to put the meat into before it went into the cooler. I was waiting until you got back"

Jonathan: Oh my gosh, you've got to be kidding me, you guys forgot the meat? Let\'s just go back home.

So the conversation went.  Needless to say, we didn't go back home (in spite of Jonathan's protests).  We had baked beans and brownies and Pringles potato chips, along with drinks. We were good.  Jonathan still didn't see the point in going on without meat. He's part Mongolian in that sense. A meal is not really a meal if there is no meat involved - but we talked him through it okay.  We unloaded the car, and now that we didn't need a grill there was less to carry.  Jonathan had wanted us to try and run over a farm animal on the way so at least we could grill something.  But I didn't listen to his barbaric, carnivorous suggestions.  At least we had baked beans.

Until I dumped them all on the ground in an attempt to move to a different picnic spot. 

So we had a picnic of Pringles and brownies and Coke.  I am just grateful Renee' made the brownies.  To top it all off, we did have a jar of Rheba's pickles that we ate some of (she makes incredible sweet pickles). Unfortunately the jar broke, and we lost most of them, as well.  So went the picnic that was a series of unfortunate events. We didn't eat much.  But we enjoyed each other's company and the Mongolian countryside. I must say that Sadie had the time of her life and is still sleeping off of her day of excitement (run in with a cow and everything).




This morning we we had an early morning airport run and had to say goodbye (again) to Renee's folks - and to our kids, as they will be spending the next six weeks or so in the States.  I miss them this morning.  I will miss them during the time they are gone, and will look forward to the day they come back to Mongolia.  This morning as I prepare a message for our church from Hebrews 11, I am reminded again that I am living for something that is yet to come. When Jonathan and Cori return to Mongolia I will be at the airport, looking into the baggage claim area trying to get a glimpse of them prior to our happy reunion.  "Having seen them and greeted them from afar" (Hebrews 11:13)  I look forward to the day of being reunited with my kids.  I look forward to the day when we will see many of the readers of this blog once again.  I look forward to being able to see my parents and friends and loved ones who seem so far away right now.  I look forward to the day when Jesus will wipe away every tear and make right every wrong and we will receive everything that he has promised. Jesus makes this life bearable - and even good - because of His promises for all that is to come.  Therefore, I don't mind being a stranger in this land and I don't so much mind broken pickle jars and spilled beans and forgotten meat. I can even live with the pain and angst involved with missing my kids and other family members  - short and long term. Jesus knows. He is good. He will grant all that he has promised. Some in this life.  Most in the next.

In spite of what many best selling authors are saying, my best life is not now.  And frankly, I am really okay with that.

Meet the Parents 2

Friday's Photos (once again on Sunday - go figure) are a few shots from the past two weeks of hanging out with "Grandmom and Granddad" in Ulaanbaatar. In spite of sickness, lack of hot water and a broken oven, I think we managed to enjoy one another's company and have a great time together. We were able to spend the afternoon yesterday out at Terelj National Park (where an episode from last season's Amazing Race took place) for a picnic of misadventures that you can read about here.

I will be posting more photos in a new gallery entitled "Meet the Parents 2". Last spring "Grammy and Pop" came to visit us, so you can also check out the "Meet the Parents" gallery. Both the original and the sequel were fantastic times...


Visit to the "Khar Zakh" (Black Market) ... There are a lot of shoes there.


We took them shopping at "Mercury" - this is the store where we do a lot of grocery shopping


We spent an afternoon at the National Park


Cori took her best friend Jeanie


We took Sadie (our dog). She and Jonathan had a little run in with a cow


Sadie also REALLY liked the water. As did Cori...

First Summer's Light

Not really summer - although temps hit near 80F here today (update: the day after we returned to the city it snowed!), which is quite warm for this time of the year.

Jonathan and Cori are heading back to the States with grandparents for the summer in about two weeks.  Therefore I wanted to take this weekend to make a camping opportunity for Jonathan and I.  So I packed the car with provisions for the night, along with Jonathan and six friends.  We didn't really have a game plan, per se.  We headed to a community south of Ulaanbaatar called Zuunmod, which literally means 100 trees.  After a bit of off road driving (meaning ... no road, head through the fields and dodge large boulders, deep pits and sheep), we found a nice forested area on the mountainside.  With a little 'under-the-table' dealing with a park ranger (we technically weren't supposed to camp there this time of the year), we settled in for a night of cooking over the camp fire, climbing up to the top of the small peak we were camped beneath - and the boys played a fantastic after dark game of "Mission Impossible".  Here are a couple of shots of our camp site for this week's Friday photos (even though it is Sunday now...).





Now we are camped up and ready to receive a visit from Renee's parents on Wednesday night!  Ten days later we lose both kids to the US for six weeks.  I am excited and grateful they have the opportunity to go back and reconnect with friends and family (a little jealous, actually).  On the other hand, we sure will miss them both. 

I am happy for the fun and memories of this weekend with my son. 

Anam Chara

The past month or two have been some of the most difficult that we have faced since coming to Mongolia. The enemy seems to be working overtime to get us to quit - or at the very least to sink us in a mire of discouragement and despair. I feel that we have been battered on the rocks and are having to really make a conscious effort to place our hope and our trust in Christ. Relationships have been under fire and I fear that some have been forever tainted.

These kinds of attacks have me thinking a lot about my relationships and, specifically, the kinds of relationships I would like to be in for my own spiritual health and well being. Obviously friendships come at many different levels. I married the best friend I've ever known - and frankly I am happy that I share my journey through this life with her. In one year we will have been walking this road for twenty years together. I am really grateful for her friendship, companionship and love. It's a constant. It's a covenant.  Our friendship with each other has been the  one stabilizing factor over the past two years (and really for the better part of 20 years).

In spite of this, we have both felt the reality and the loneliness of friendlessness, which has given way to a lot of thought about what a real friendship should look like.

A few years ago I did some research about a concept in ancient Celtic Christian spirituality called 'anam chara'. No, this is not a Mongolian word. It is actually a Gaelic word. The Mongolian word for this would be something like 'setgliin naits'. The best English translation is probably 'soul friend'.

I will not get into the different ideas of what a 'soul friend'? looks like in the modern era. There are several books written on the subject - some better than others. Some writers say that in ancient times this was like a modern mentor/mentee relationship. Some say it's more like a coach. Some put it into the same category as a spiritual director. I personally think it can be something of all these things ... and more.

The relational rough waters and friendlessness over the past months (and even two years) has me thinking a lot about what a “Soul Friend� relationship should look like. In fact, this summer (July 1-4), I will be teaching some of this at the CAMA Mongolia church leadership camp. So it is good to begin thinking through now.

1. Mutual. Many writers say that the idea of soul friendship is not one of mutual friendship. It's more of finding someone who is older, smarter and wiser than you and connecting with them and being open, available and vulnerable. Your soul friend would then have no obligation to be such with you. I don't agree with that perspective. I take the side of those who argue that it is a relationship of mutuality. Mutual submission. Mutual vulnerability. Mutual availability. I know that there may or may not be historical evidence of this (I think that there may be, but I will let those better versed in ancient Celtic church history duke that out somewhere else). In this day and age, my personal vision for this is one of mutuality. In other words, the idea of a soul friendship is the idea of a 'two way street'?.

2. Trust. I don't think this can be overemphasized. Soul friendship is a relationship that is based on trust. One of the key elements of a soul friendship (at least as I understand it) is vulnerability. The exposed soul is vulnerable and unprotected. The soul friend is someone who will handle the soul with care and point the heart back to God. A friend like this will not take advantage or use vulnerability as leverage for his or her own purposes later. Trust in a relationship also has to do with the ability to truthfully expose issues in one another's life (the things we know are there, but are blinded to), but to do it in a way that will build the relationship and not tear it down. I have to know that this friend is not going to ditch me once he knows my rough spots and I am exposed for what's really there. Trust is huge. It's also very difficult to find.

3. Confession. The soul friendship is the place where the spiritual discipline of confession should regularly take place. This was a big difference between the Roman Church and the Celtic church. Confession was not something that was done solely with clergy. The doctrine of the priesthood of the believers was alive and well in fifth and sixth century Ireland. Your 'confessor' was your soul friend. Evangelicals have relegated 'confession' to a Roman Catholic rite, and not something important enough to fit into our religious practice. I believe that is one of the reasons for modern evangelical superficiality and silliness. Contemporary evangelical spirituality would look quite different if we actually practiced the spiritual discipline of confession. Not with a priest, but rather with a soul friend.

4. Life-long traveling companions. Much like the culture we are in midst of now, the ancient Celts were nomadic by nature. (I am finding there to be many similarities between ancient Celtic culture and Mongolian culture. Perhaps someday I will post those similarities in article form.) The idea of a soul friend was that of 'traveling companion'. It was someone who would be with you on your spiritual journey until the end, and you crossed into the 'better city'. The soul friend is someone who is to be trusted throughout a whole lifetime. You are, in essence, traveling companions. I love this idea.

I personally love this idea. However, it is not something that we have experienced to any kind of fullness. So far in my life relationships have taken on a more disconnected character, and tend to be relegated to location. I hope that at some point in the relatively short time I have left on this earthly journey, we have the privilege and opportunity to walk in this kind of relationship with another fellow traveler.

A Good Way Off the Main Road

Last week Renee' and I had an enjoyable time hosting a vision team from Crossroads Fellowship in Clarksville, TN.  We were able to take them to see various parts of the C&MA work in Darhan, Erdenet and Bulgan - as well as share future ministry possibilities here in Ulaanbaatar. 

There are a lot of fun stories that I could tell here (from "Bobble-Head" to horse-guts.  You probably had to be there), but I there was one incident that was most memorable (for me, anyway).  We were visiting Jeremy and Renee' Bergevin in Bulgan.  My friends Larry and Melissa, along with Jeremy, Renee', Baby Clara and I went on a mission.  I have a friend in language school who met a nomadic herding family outside of Bulgan.  She wanted me to take them a gift and letter. The problem is that finding a nomadic herding family can prove to be a little tricky because they're ... well ... nomadic.  One never really knows where a nomadic family might be at any given point in time. 

The day started with Jeremy and I asking around the market for this particular family.  The first people we asked knew exactly who they were.  This was a good sign.  The sales lady called someone else from across the market.  She knew them even better and told us which direction to start heading. "Take the Ulaanbaatar Road toward the town of Urhang and ask around".  So we did.  We stopped at several gers, in fact.  Each person knew who we were looking for and kept pointing us further and further out into the countryside.  We finally ended up finding this family in a ger off any main road.  We followed a literal cattle path through a field as the snow started to fall in order to get there.  But in the end, we found them. 



We were treated to classic Mongolian hospitality, with milk tea and bread, cream and jam. The man showed us his 96 head of horses.  Melissa got to milk a baby goat whose mother had been eaten by a wolf ten days before, along with two baby goats who were only a couple of days old.  It was a good adventure with good memories in the Mongolian outback.




(Jeremy and the husband discussing horses)